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Publication history:
Originally published in
Datamation Magazine
April, 2000
Reprint rights available
contact me:
chris@miksanek.com
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The 70's are a much maligned decade. They saw both
the fall of Saigon and the rise of the inflation rate. They gave us the
"Dukes of Hazzard" and added "Sit on It" and "Kiss my grits!" to our
vocabulary. And while Madison Avenue spent millions to convince us we were
the Pepsi Generation, history has been less kind: the 70's are generally
instead referred to as the "Me Generation."
Though it may be too early to paint our current
decade with a wide brush, the "oughts" (has anyone come up with a less
awkward name?) are shaping-up to make that "Me Generation" look like
unselfish benefactors in comparison. With the Holy Grail of stock options
and IPOs intoxicating new IT grads and veterans alike, this decade will
surely go down in the annals as the "Greed Generation."
"So what's new," you ask. "I've seen the exit
interviews. I know everyone's leaving to 'pursue better opportunities.'"
"What's new" is that this time your staff isn't lying
in those interviews. Whereas most attrition heretofore has been for any of
several reasons, most of today's staff -- from coder to project manager to
senior executive -- are leaving for one reason: so that their new employer
can "show them the money."
Dr. Hahnemann Ortiz, who's developed the MBA in
Entrepreneurship at the University of Texas, Austin, admits society is
partially to blame. "We have a culture with movies that literally tell us
'greed is good,' and a generation who grew up with role models like
Thurston Howell III, Jed Clampett, and Richie Rich," he says. "You know,
I've actually heard economics students argue whether the evil Mr. Potter,
from the movie, 'It's a Wonderful Life,' would be more wealthy in today's
dollars than Yahoo's Jerry Yang."
Clearly we live in a society where values are skewed.
But how do you keep people from exercising their basic human right to seek
capitalistic riches and spend their declining years (i.e., their 30's) in
a hammock on an island beach? How do you retain your staff and prevent a
brain drain that jeopardizes your own organization's future?
How do you retain quality staff? Buzz in if
you know the correct answer
"It's hard enough to compete for market share," says
Cuyahoga Technology, Inc. CIO Paul Flerick. "Now we're competing for
staff, as well."
Perks go so far, but the lure, many IT executives
say, is money. It's salary, sign-on bonus, options ... a slice of the pie.
The solution, albeit expensive, should be clear
Flerick says, "these days, you have to create an opportunity for your own
people to be millionaires."
But how do you accomplish that from the comfort of
your own org chart and without putting your own profit sharing at risk?
Well as it
turns out, the solution to that
dilemma is no more complex than the plot of an Elvis movie -- though it
does take a bit more imagination than wrapping up a 10-pack of Nestles
$100,000 bars as a performance bonus.
Here are a few inexpensive ways to make your staff
millionaires.
Take it Offshore. Move your payroll
department to a country where their
dollar doesn't quite have the, shall we say, purchasing power, of the good ol' greenback. One Taiwan dollar, for instance, is worth little more than
three cents. You can make your entire staff millionaires if you pay them
in Jamaican dollars (2.4 cents to the US buck). "Hey mon, in Kingston, you
are a millionaire. Never mind in Florida they're scarcely pulling-down
$24k. No problem. Everyone on your staff is ire!"
Continuing Education. Your people have complained they haven't been
to a class in years. Here's your chance to kill two birds with one stone.
[NOTE: Datamation does not advocate the mistreatment of our little
winged-friends -- it's just an expression -- though the little buggers are
quite annoying after we've spent the afternoon washing our cars.]
We were talking about how education can make your
staff millionaires at NO RISK TO YOU. Yes, that's right. Don Lapre is
currently offering a 30-day free examination of his new program to make a
million dollars by placing small classified ads in local newspapers. Many
similar programs exist. Work with your staff development coordinator and
see if no-money-down-real-estate-programs offer a bigger bang for your
buck. You're not just giving your staff education, you're giving them a
great opportunity to earn millions.
Just Give 'em the Damn Money!
Last year's lame attempt to make your staff millionaires went over like a
hick-up in church. You remember ... you gave them each some lotto
quick-picks in lieu of a holiday turkey. The problem wasn't that no one
won, the problem was that someone might
have won. Then you would have created dissension and hard feelings among
the losers.
This year, develop a staff retention program where
you reward their loyalty and contributions with a bonus worth (CUT TO:
CLOSEUP OF DR. EVIL) "One Million Dollars!"
Relax. It's
not as frightening as it sounds. Remember it's a retention bonus. They
don't get it all at once. They get their money a dollar a year for a
million years. Sure it's a bad old joke, but if you get the agreement in
writing such that the only way out is for them to bury a pair of shoe
soles at the crossroads, you have your cake and can eat it too.
You get the
point. If money's your strategy for retaining people, go forth and create
wealth.
(continued next column)
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Sorry, that's not the correct
answer, but we have some nice parting gifts for you: it's called a
severance package.
Exit interviews aside, Professor Ortiz says those
participating in his MBA program are not necessarily seeking greater
financial opportunity. "They understand ninety-seven of a hundred startups
will be shutdowns inside of two years," he says. "And they know the
likelihood of their stock options making them a millionaire is about the
same as bumping into Bill Gates at Walmart."
The "opportunity" they are
pursuing is the opportunity to have a greater impact on the organization.
"Most of my students are veterans whom I can relate to," Ortiz says.
"Academia has tenure; corporate America has vesting. Both have a problem.
In that security blanket there is little motivation to rock the status quo."
Blame corporations for staff career plateauing.
"When a company is small, there is genuine teamwork, esprit de corps,"
Cuyahoga's Flerick says. "When that small company grows into a
corporation, the 'team' evolves into a chain gang and a day at the office
is about as routine as scooping the litter box. Innovation yields to
administration; process takes a backseat to progress. A once true
contender is now just a poor pretender. I've seen it happen. When more
money is spent training in administrative processes and policies than in
new technology, you know you're at the feeble end of that corporate cycle
and are dangerously close to alienating your brain trust and, indeed, the
future of your organization."
Today's staff, Ortiz says, is looking to do it all
over again. To have the influence they once had. Smaller companies give
them a bigger voice. At the end of the day, that's the opportunity they're
pursuing.
If a mature organization wants to retain their staff,
they have to foster an entrepreneurial environment. When IBM acquired
Lotus and Tivoil, they let they remain autonomous.
For many corporations, spinning-off lean-and-mean
micro internal organizations is the solution, for others it's simply a
cultural paradigm shift that's in order. But, Professor Ortiz says, "it
all has to start with a realization that there's a root cause for
attrition. Either find that cause, or be prepared to start cutting
million-dollar counter-offer checks."
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