Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel
When did good old-fashioned business become
"e-Business?"
Likely it was sometime after dead-ends became cul-de-sacs and before stuff even the Salvation Army wouldn't take for artillery practice became the fashionable "distressed look."
Since that time, though, retailing has become "e-tailing," softcopy tomes have become "e-Books," pinging a site is "e-vailability monitoring," and password validation is "e-security." Is this an indication of exciting new technology or just an Earl Scheib paint job on a '77 Chevy Monte Carlo?
Denise Radke, who runs her successful "iSecond that Promotion" marketing group out of Menlo Park, Calif., with husband Mitch, suggests it's the latter. "It comes down to what sounds leading edge...new."
"Grammatically speaking, consonants are passive and vowels are active," says Mitch Radke. "All the better that 'i' exemplifies Internet or individualism, and 'e' reeks of excellence or, at the very least, electronic. From a marketing perspective, those letters are a lot easier to sell than than the unfortunate acronym representing a 'brick and mortar' business."
Yet, with successful "e-i" vowel appendages--eBay, iMac, e*Trade, iBook, eMachine, and the AS/400e--one has to ask what the chances are for break-outs like A, O, and U.
"No doubt, we would like to exploit the other vowels," Denise says, "but our research shows that 'i' works well for consumer products and services; and, with the exception of that E. Coli thing, 'e' has been embraced by everyone from B2B industries to retail shoppers."
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eVerything old is new again To what origin can we attribute this marketing coup d'etat?
Polaroid's new i-Zone "sticker film" camera? C'mon, that just came out and may not even be around by the time you read this.
Steve Jobs' NeXT computer? No, e-mail was around before that.
Issac Asimov's seminal 1950 book, I, Robot or the ubiquitous IHOP? Doubtful. |
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"Actually, vowelization has been practiced for years," Denise says. "The i-beam, of course, made modern skyscrapers possible; and for almost three decades, Disneyland named its premier attractions--Space Mountain, Matterhorn Bobsleds, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc.--"E" ticket rides. But if you had to trace the phenomenon you would be hard-pressed to go further back than "I Ching," the ancient Chinese book of changes," she says.
More to the point, the latest wave of vowelization continues the tradition of breathing new life into matured technology, products, and services. For instance, consider the following:
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When Shreveport , Louisiana-based, National Prison Suppliers renamed its LoJack-type prisoner monitoring ankle cuff to "iCon," sales increased 160%.
Online optometry supplier, See the Difference, renamed its classic paper Snellen "P E Z O L C F T D" poster "the iChart," and the yellowed placards flew off the shelf.
Before renaming their band "iRon Butterfly," the boomer rockers couldn't give away MP3s of their "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida." Now they can. (Downloads are rumored to be in the double-digits--there may be hope, still, for eNgland Dan and John Ford Coley.)
At Wally's Best Autos, in Fort Wayne, Ind., owner Jimmy Correa was beginning to wonder whether buying a wholesale fleet of 1990 Yugos was such a wise decision after all. But taking a hint from both the prominent Mercedes E Class and the BMW 'i' series, Correa renamed his "fine pre-owned automobiles" the Yugo "i" series. "Inside of a week," Correa says, "the happy new owners had them all towed off our lot."
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Coming full circle--right down the toilet So what's it all mean? A renaissance for e.e. cummings? "Brady Bunch"-like syndication success for "iDream of Jeannie?"
Actually, more like a downward spiral.
What happens when everyone picks a kitschy name for products and services? It causes industry confusion, begging the question, "is this a core business or a fad?" Put more simply, the e's and i's are simply overused.
iCarumba, e-nuff already.
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