he's a breath of
fresh hot air!
rumor that pretzel spokesperson Mr. Salty had hypertension grabbed
headlines for a day until Nabisco quickly released a
statement dispelling it. "Mr. Salty," they
said, "is in fine health and is enjoying a well-deserved retirement in
Santa Fe, New Mexico, where he plays pinochle with fellow food luminary
The very next
week, The Simple Life "actress" Paris Hilton made headlines for
months with her direct-to-Internet video.
For a while
Robert Blake was all we heard about, too.
Then it was
Michael Jackson's time.
Now we have this new guy. And he's all anyone is talking about. He's all
over USA Today and every blogger's yapping about him.
After a few months, we'll be sick of hearing of this guy, too, but for
now, having nudged fallen celebrities from the front pages, he's a
breath of fresh air. So I say, welcome to you, Phil Abuster.
Sunday, May 8th 2005
favorite cookie is the Pepperidge Farm Orange Milano. But that's not
what I'm writing about.
I was at a Blue Jays game a few years ago, first baseball game I've been
to in years. Things have changed.
As various vendors made their way up the stairs they would chant
whatever they were selling. One would yell, "Beer here," another:
"Peanuts! Gotta have 'em, gotta have 'em." You get the idea.
One vendor, though, cracked me up. He had the yo-yo's, the goofy
we're-number-one foam fingers, and the light-stick bracelets. He
I think of that every time I eat my second-favorite cookie: the Oreo.
When I was a kid, I would eat the "stuff" in the middle first and then
either throw-away the other part, or slip it back in the package and
tell my brother we were victims of product tampering.
Then they came out with "double-stuff" Oreos.
Of course I like those better, but what I would really like to see is an
Oreo that's just this: Stuff. White disks of whatever that stuff
That would bump the Orange Milano from the number one spot.
Thursday, May 27th 2004
Lighten Up #1
Last year I replaced several
windows in my house with the expensive double-pane energy-efficient
But this week I got a call from the contractor
complaining that his work has been completed for a whole year and I had
yet to pay for them.
Boy, oh boy, did we go 'round. Just because I'm old
doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.
I proceeded to tell him just
what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year ... that in one
year the windows would pay for themselves.
There was silence on the other end of the line so I
just hung up and I haven't heard back ... guess I must have won that
(from the web)
Friday, February 6th 2004
Fast Food, 9-Ball and Texas Hold-'em
When I was younger, the express
lane at the grocery store was for "8 Items or Less." Later, "10 Items or
Less." This morning, I saw an express lane that was "20 Items or Less."
Things are getting worse.
Of course it's cliché to say we are a fast-food
nation. Ready-made, drive-thru, no-waiting, has been our mantra for two
decades. But it's not clear whether we *want it* now, or we *need it*
now. Are we selfish and impatient or simply genuinely constrained for
Probably a little of both.
But that's not what bothers me. We have become
a nation of sound bites. Clearly. But look what it has done to the
sacrosanct games of poker and pool.
Back when pool was pool, it was a man's game.
Cigarettes and JTS Brown bourbon; Minnesota Fats and Fast Eddie Felson;
tavern tables and house cues. Today's tables are fine furniture and
Atkins-dieting newbies think an expensive cue will make them play
better. And what's the deal with 9-Ball? Well here's the deal. A few
years back, when ESPN came into vogue, someone decided that straight
pool was too slow. So now it's 9-Ball. Quick, fast, lots of break shots,
looks good on TV. Fast food pool.
And what is this sudden fascination with Texas
Hold 'em. When I was a kid and all my friends were learning to count to
ten, I learned to count all the way up to the Ace. You see, I grew up
playing cards. I loved it. We played every game imaginable. But we never
imagined Texas Hold 'em and the grip it would have on our culture after
a few televised celebrity "tournaments." You see, in my day, Steve
McQueen played Five Card Stud. Today, David Schwimmer plays Texas Hold 'em.
The "pros" say the game is faster than straight poker and that
tournament rounds are quicker. "There's more action." I say it's nothing
but fast food poker. Look, I have nothing against the game, and I'm not
saying No-Peek or Between-the-Sheets was any better, I just don't like
the gentrification of the game in general. Poker's a game played best
when relegated to garages and basements.
But don't mind me, I'm just bloggin'.
Sunday, February 1st 2004
is a BLOG?
It's short for weB LOG. It's a
series of insights. Rants. Unedited letters to the editor. It's what
anyone wants to opine or pontificate about, I suppose.
You are here because you want to read what I
have to say about various things, presumably. OK. Well here I will share
my views on local and national politics, social issues, family topics,
and maybe even my minute-movie-reviews.